My husband and I had been together for 5 years before we got married, and since we were already in our 30's we decided to start trying for our first baby right after our wedding. I, like most people, thought it would take a few months and I'd be pregnant. I even thought we might be one of those couples who conceive on their honeymoon. But things didn't go exactly as planned.
After a couple months of trying I decided to use an ovulation predictor kit, and I found out that I ovulate kind of late in my cycle, so I figured it was just a matter of timing. But six months of faithfully doing the deed at O time, I still wasn't pregnant. I saw my OB, who said she couldn't see any reason why I shouldn't get pregnant, but that she would prescribe Clomid if I wanted to try it. I was very wary about trying any fertility drugs, so I put it off a bit, but by the time we were nearing the year mark, I decided to give it a go. I had seen so many of my friends and family members get pregnant that year, and was really starting to become depressed. We did two rounds of clomid and nothing. At that point we were past a year of no success, so it was time to head to the RE.
My husband had his sperm tested (many,many times) and it never showed anything more than some slight morphology issues, but again, nothing that should have been really preventing us from getting pregnant. The RE ran the gamut of tests on me and couldn't find any issues. So we decided to proceed with IUI with injectables, since we'd already tried the Clomid. We did 3 rounds and were unsuccessful. So the natural progression was to IVF, though we still had "unexplained" infertility. Our first cycle yielded 9 eggs, and we were thrilled that 7 fertilized normally. However they all stopped progressing after day 2. We transferred the 5 that hadn't completely arrested and waited it out even though we had very little hope. It was no surprise that the test was negative. The RE thought that it was time to do a laproscopy to take a closer look at what was going on since he was starting to suspect an egg quality issue. Sure enough, he found I had pretty moderate endometriosis, and it had affected my ovaries among other things. He thought that with the adhesions removed my egg quality should improve. We decided to try an IUI again but it was unsuccessful. So we did another round of IVF with a different protocol. I had a lot of hope for this cycle, with a new protocol and my shiny, clean ovaries. The outcome was worse than the first, with only 2 embryos surviving and they had basically stopped growing at the time of the transfer.
At this point I was beyond devastated, I was broken down in every way. I felt completely inadequate. The Dr. couldn't tell me why my eggs were not producing viable embryos. I was healthy and in my early 30's, and there was no indication of premature ovarian failure. It was at this point that the Dr. brought up the idea of using donor eggs. This was not a new concept to me, as ironically I had actually started the process of trying to donate MY eggs in my 20's. My husband and I took a few months to think about it, and decided to proceed. We didn't want to continue down a path with very little chance of success for an indefinite amount of time and money. We just wanted a baby so badly, and both really felt that genes are only a small part of what makes a family. We would have adopted also, but I really, really wanted to experience pregnancy. As a massage therapist specializing in prenatal massage, I had learned so much about the miraculous process of creating life, and I longed to feel a baby growing inside me and have that special connection.
We had a few setbacks in choosing a donor and had to wait several months to actually start our cycle. But ultimately everything went well, and we transferred two embryos. A week later I took a home pregnancy test, and saw two pink lines for the first time. I immediately woke my husband and said the two words I waited years to say- "I'm pregnant." My beautiful son was born this past summer, and we are truly blessed. He is perfect in every way. We will tell him from the start exactly how he was conceived, and we want it to be a positive part of his life story- "we wanted you so much, and you are so special." I will be forever grateful to the woman who gave us a little piece of herself, to make our dreams come true.